It happened about 1 week after we’d dealt with our bedbug problem, which had been stressful and crazy, and involved packing our entire house into boxes in one night.  We’d driven down to San Diego (I don’t remember why, I think it was to pick up a cat).  We went to Leo’s mom’s house, looking for a key to his sister’s house, so we could pick up some things from there.  Leo was looking all over trying to find the key, and I remember sitting in the living room wondering when we were going to stop looking and go home.

Leo was upstairs, and had called his mom and his dad, ostensibly looking for the key.  But as he was upstairs talking to his dad, I remember a though flashing through my brain, wondering if he was looking for a ring and was going to propose.  What can I say, I’m difficult to surprise.  I dismissed the thought as unrealistic though.

I had gone out to the car to wait, when Leo came out and said, “You have to come back in!  It’s a surprise!”  I followed him inside, thinking he was going to show me something that he had found.  Instead he told me to sit down at a table that was usually on the front porch, but was sitting in the foyer.  He sat down across from me and I stared at him, waiting for the surprise.

“I just thought we should talk for a minute,” he said.  I waited for him to present a topic, the air growing thick with anticipation as he didn’t say anything.

“Will you marry me?” He asked finally.  I stared at him, completely and utterly dumbfounded, despite my earlier semi-deduction.

“Are you joking?” I asked.  I believe, although I’m not positive, that I asked this several times.

“People who are joking don’t usually have rings,” he said, pulling one out.  When presented with a ring, I realized he was actually serious and immediately said yes.    The ring wasn’t the one I’m wearing now, which was given to me by Leo’s mother.  Leo couldn’t find that one, and used a different one to propose.  Which, honestly, made the proposal better.  It wouldn’t have felt real if everything went perfectly.  Then I really would have thought he was joking.

Unfortunately, neither of them seems to be considering counseling as an option.  It’s the same reaction I used to get back in college when I would have conversations that sounded like this:

Me: What’s up?

Them: Well, I’ve been feeling pretty down for a few weeks.  I’m having problems getting my work done, I’m fighting with my parents, and I really wish I could just sleep for the rest of the year.  Being dead would be easier.

Me: You know, the counseling center is free.  Why don’t you go talk to someone?

Them: I couldn’t do that!  I don’t have a problem, I’m not crazy or something!

Even though there seems to be a stereotype about everyone having a shrink now, everyone I talk to still seems to think that counseling of any form is a last-ditch, only for lost causes effort, that THEY don’t definitely need.

Leo put a new spin on it by relating it to a Friends episode, in which Monica and Chandler (who are married) reveal to each other than they don’t believe in soul mates.  Leo put forward the idea that if you think you are meant for each other no matter what, you might not be as willing to recognize that sometimes it’s just not going to go well without work.  But if you recognize that sometimes your communication is going to suck, and bad days are going to happen, maybe you’ll be more willing to search for ways to improve your relationship…even counseling.

“Exhale, tighten your abs, and pinch your stomach.  That’s pure fat.  Do that everyday before your workout, and you’ll never skip.”

I had to call Leo immediately and exclaim over the hilarity.

“A woman’s magazine would never say that!”  I said.  “It would say, ‘Think about how wonderful you’ll feel after you work out’ not ‘Look how fat you are.”

“Well yeah, because they’d be responsible for people dropping dead from starvation.  Men’s magazines have to remind us that we’re not gods, and we’re getting fat, and women’s magazines tell you that you’re beautiful on the inside, but you better get in the gym so you’ll be as beautiful as our airbrushed model on the cover.”

“So what you’re actually saying is that they’re doing the same thing.  Kinda how women’s magazines tell women how to please men, and men’s magazines tell men how to get women to please them.”

“Exactly.”

“Ew.”

Leo, age 21, musician, juggler, all-around-talented dude.

Jessica, age 22, reader, writer, sometime dancer, wanna-be librarian.

Penny, age 1, grey kitty with plans for world domination.

Koosko, age 3(?), orange kitty with ambitious plans to sleep all day.

We’re currently working on the whole “adult” thing and having a lot of fun along the way.